So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
