I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
