She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
