it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
