I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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