We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
