haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
