i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
