So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
