Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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