Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
