some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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