The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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