The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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