im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
They have beer where we have blood.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
