I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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