I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
