@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
