Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
