This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
