I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
