We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
