Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
