he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
