And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Randomize
