Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
