we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think your dad took our porno
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
