I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
