I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
