we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
