Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
