Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
