remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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