my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
