her vagine was all disorganized.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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