Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i drank out of a bidet.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize