i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she looked like the before picture.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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