Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
