Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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