one might say we're banned from that church
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
