I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
