Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
