U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
