You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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