MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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