Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize