I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
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