What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
