Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize