ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
