so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize