and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
