Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
