bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
