Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize