we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
