You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If its not for food we ain't going out.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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