Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
