She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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