he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
